I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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