While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
barbara walters just said penis...
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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