I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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