i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You may now shotgun with the bride
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
