and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Acid is not a monday night drug
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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