i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
