she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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