My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
