Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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