I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize