Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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