dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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