I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
