Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
And then he peed in my hair
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