It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
she peed on how many people?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize