Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
