i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
