Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
