I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
My dick has a subreddit
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
