just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
