Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
