I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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