420 ftw
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
