i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
