its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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