Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
