Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
