My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
