nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
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