Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize