cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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