need another drink. this is the easiest way
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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