I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
