Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
