Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
