We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
