found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize