Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
