Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
