is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
