Can i not drive my cunt home
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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