so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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