I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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