It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
