Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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