when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
