I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I would ride that face into the sunset
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
