My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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