If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
