are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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