I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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