Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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