My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize