There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
