Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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