so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
