had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
i think my cat just said my name.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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