it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
