And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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