i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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