Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Who died my cat blue again?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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