he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
