I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
